i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
When are your genitals available?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
