Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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