well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
