I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
