You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
