That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Sober January is a disaster.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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