Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
