i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
