She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I AM VODKA MAN
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
