Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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