thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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