Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Quick, to the slutcave!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
