She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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