didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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