I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
