sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
