okay pat passed out under dana's car
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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