jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
