ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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