I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Just cropdusted the office
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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