He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
