the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
