i just wanna soil my oats bro
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
