tell your sister to shave her snatch
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
