I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
