Porn is love you can see.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
