since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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