you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
