So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
there is puke in my bra ... again
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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