You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
