I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
