So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just want nice things and good sex
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
