fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
