So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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