Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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