hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
