Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
