Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
