we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Drunk is not a location!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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