Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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