i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
