And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
