The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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