he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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