Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
