So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
