We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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