these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
