Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
