i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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