a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
