Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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