What did we do last night that was yellow?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My ass is underappreciated
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
