Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
