the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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