Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
