My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My dick has a subreddit
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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