you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
